Two days ago was my birthday, which means I’ve already spent 40 years on planet Earth! Which also implies that I probably only have half the duration left to wander and live and experience on this pale blue dot.
When I saw Alex’s blog party theme — Perfect Days — I thought it was a really nice theme. I loved the movie Perfect Days. Walking out of the Elmwood Theater, my eyes were welling up. I even made an obscure video about the curious connection between Perfect Days and brown dwarfs, because brown dwarfs are often called “failed stars,” but few people know they have auroras and planetary systems of their own.
Anyway, I immediately thought, for sure I’m going to participate and it’ll be so easy for me to write about my ideal day.
It wasn’t until I started writing that I realized it wasn’t easy at all.
This is what happened.
Wiwi published his ideal day, and he reminded everyone right at the start:
看到「理想的日常」這個主題，我猜不少人的腦中已經浮現這些畫面了：出國度假、住進豪宅、吃米其林餐廳、作品得獎、出書登上暢銷榜、YouTube 影片破百萬觀看、在東京巨蛋開演唱會、從燃燒的建築物裡救出小孩、阻止了一顆小行星撞上地球……
「非日常」不是「理想的日常」
When you see the theme “perfect days” I bet many people already have these images in their heads: traveling abroad, living in a mansion, eating at Michelin restaurants, winning awards, publishing a bestseller, getting a million views on YouTube, holding a concert at Tokyo Dome, rescuing kids from a burning building, stopping an asteroid from hitting Earth…
“The extraordinary” is not “the ideal everyday.”
Reading that made me extremely uneasy! Because even though I didn’t think specific those things, what jumped to my mind is not everyday life either. This puzzled me for a long time.
Because what jumped to my mind are three time capsules.
🌤️ The Sky #
The first one is the first time I went power hang gliding in Hawaii. Flying in the sky. It’s so different from walking or driving. Google Maps is completely useless. Streets don’t matter at all. The things that matter are “that beach,” “that mountain.” I suddenly understood what the author of The Little Prince described in his memoir Wind, Sand and Stars: a pilot’s revelation about maps. The regular maps for geologists aren’t much help for a pilot; his coworker helped him the night before his first flight by circling areas to watch out for flocks of sheep, marking the tall trees. Those are the landmarks that actually help a pilot. When people say something gives them a completely new perspective, this was the moment for me, figuratively and literally.
I remember my mind setting off fireworks as the Hawaii breeze passed my face, the turquoise Pacific Ocean like a giant jewel under our feet. At that moment, I felt like anything troubling me could be reexamined, since I’d acquired a new perspective. It’s like being a three-dimensional creature who’s been living too long in a 2D world, and suddenly awakening — ah! I’ve always been a 3D being. Those problems that couldn’t be solved in 2D have elegant, transcendent solutions in 3D!
🌿 The Plain #
The second one is from an amazing Tanzania safari trip with Mitch, a trip that collected many moments I’ll treasure for a lifetime.
The first day we met our safari guide, I asked how likely it was that we’d see elephants in Tarangire that day. His answer was exquisite. He said even if the chances are high, they wouldn’t say “you’ll see them.” Because:
“Nature is beautiful, but nature is unpredictable.”
Right there, I knew I would love this trip. This is the place where Beryl Markham spent most of her life and wrote the most poetic, humorous, and insightful memoir I’ve ever read — West with the Night. This is the place where you learn philosophy spoken by lions, not by hunters.
Then came the moments of seeing wildlife with my own eyes. In the Serengeti, day one, we saw a cheetah eating a freshly caught gazelle with great concentration. Suddenly, it lifted its head and looked at us with an expression both confused and alarmed. Then there were lions: three cubs snuggling by the mother lion taking an afternoon nap, their mane colors completely blending into the September Serengeti plain’s tones; the next morning, we encountered a teenage lion at strikingly close distance! Lions have an amazing ability: they carry an awe-inspiring presence. Even sitting in the car, I could feel admiration and surrender rising within me. When we reached the northern Serengeti, we rode a hot air balloon before sunrise, and as we slowly rose we saw a hippo walking back to water after a night of grazing on land, the massive elephants shrunk to tiny dots, the elusive leopard, and thousands of zebras and wildebeests running across the endless plain, like watching a BBC documentary live. As the sun was rolling down, a hyena walked by us. It glanced at us, then walked toward where the sun was setting, against the backdrop of the boundless plain and the sky dyed red and orange. I will probably never see them again, but I’ll never forget them. Seeing these animals living in their natural habitat. At that moment, I didn’t have any other wishes, or wants, or desires. My only wish was to hope that they can live there forever and ever.
🌙 The Dark Night #
The third moment is in the middle of the night.
Prior to that, Mitch and I had an interview for my marriage green card. The interview officer looked extremely serious and asked me all sorts of harsh questions: “did you make a bomb,” “have you ever killed anyone or kidnapped anyone.” Meanwhile we could hear the interviewer next door, interviewing another couple, chatting and laughing — a completely different vibe from ours. Our interviewer never cracked a smile, until we showed a photo of a chocolate matcha cake we’d made recently. Her eyes suddenly lit up. I was thinking, maybe she’s just really hungry. It was lunch time after all.
After that interview, we were both a bit worried about how things would go. One night, probably around 2am, Mitch suddenly got up, went to his office, and brought his laptop in. I was thinking what work could possibly be so important that it had to be dealt with now. He woke me up, pointed at the screen to show me the website. It was the immigration website. He opened 1Password and pasted the login password. I noticed his hands were shaking. And then — Approved. My green card was approved. I can stay.
A moment before I was still hazy from sleepiness, but I saw tears glistening in Mitch’s eyes, crystal clear in the dark night. The next second, my heart was filled with warmth, gratitude, and the feeling of being loved.
Yes, I understand those are not “normal days.” I can’t expect to have enlightening moments on a daily basis, nor can I feel the vast oneness with nature every day, nor can I even remember to remind myself that I live a pretty nice life with people that I love and who love me back.
There were times that I did transcendental meditation every morning for 20 minutes, for almost a year. There were times that I went to the gym two days a week for Zumba, plus extra swimming and sauna on Sundays. A good routine does make me feel grounded and centered, and my body felt great too.
However, when my habit chain was interrupted by life, work, and randomness, I could sense my anxiety. I realized I hadn’t truly gained the ability to be at peace: my fleeting equanimity was tied to tools and rituals. Why can’t I achieve inner peace when doing anything?
When I traveled in Tanzania, we got up between 5 and 6am. Every day was so drastically different from a routine-dominated work day. I felt not a shred of anxiety, couldn’t care less about productivity, or what new model OpenAI just released.
Here and Now #
To think about my current daily routine: I get up around 7:30am, shower, get ready, start work around 9am. I work from home. Most of my work is giving instructions and letting Claude Code do it. I can go have lunch in our garden, eating sandwiches while listening to birdsong, watching hummingbirds sip from lemon tree blossoms and the beautiful blue-feathered scrub jays. After work, I can play pickleball with good friends on Monday, practice Tai Chi at UC Berkeley on Wednesday and Friday. I meditate sometimes. I journal sometimes. I doodle sometimes. I make YouTube videos sometimes. But all of these are things are optional.
If you interviewed a childhood me, I’m probably already living my perfect days.
I’m not the kind of person who likes to stuff the calendar with colorful blocks and plan a hangout with a friend a month ahead. I’ve always remembered how Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche described his calendar already being booked for next year:
“Tomorrow has not come, tomorrow is already gone.”
But I do hope that in my next forty years, I can still encounter and accumulate more moments that light up my soul and heart. Maya Angelou once said:
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
Encountering moments that can be treasured for a lifetime — that is my perfect life. ✨